Monday, December 20, 2010

day 5 of abstinence

I'm day 5 into my abstinence! Yesterday I did a 2 hour 23 minute bike ride & followed immediately by a 37 minute run.

These are some of the things I've realized recently with my compulsive eating. Some of these realizations are life changing for me, some of them are merely interesting at best. But they all have to do with my recovery.

Food is the most intimate, private, & intense relationship I've ever had. Even more than sex. It's something I can always find comfort, solace, or company with. Food is always there & it always feels good.

The 12 & 12 of OA works if you work it!

It's ok if I fail at eating like a triathlete as long as I don't eat like a compulsive overeater. Don't get the F'its! The F'its are when I make a small mistake & then say F'it, I can't do it perfectly so I may as well just do whatever I want. Like when I eat an extra serving that wasn't on my food plan, so I say F'it & binge eat all I want on whatever I want the rest of the day.

I have to do something OA related everyday otherwise I get amnesia to the fact that I have this disease. I begin to feel like I can eat like everyone else, next thing I know I've relapsed.My disease is not a moral issue. When I'm binge eating I'm not a bad person.

Have and follow a food plan!!!

Pray for help. God will help.

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