Friday, March 23, 2012

Back in the saddle

Today I seem to be back in control of my eating. Before I started binging I was at my dream weight of 175, I now weigh 202.4. If I lose 1 pound a week it'll take me over 4 months to reverse the damage I'd done, but at least I'm not binging anymore. I could have been back to 290 pounds before I finally recovered, that has happened to me many times before.

My 1st race of the season will be on April 1st. I was very excited about showing up to race at my dream weight of 175, but it could be worse. My Ironman is in the fall this year, that gives me plenty of time to get back down to a racing weight. Thank goodness for miracles like abstinence!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

loss of control

I'm 3 days into a massive binge and no signs of being being able to stop. Yesterday I blew $49 for lunch & hit multiple drive thru's. A man can get a ton of burgers, chili cheese fries, and coney dogs for $49. I now know Satan is real, he is now selling sweet potato tater tots at Sonic.

The last time I was is the grips of a binge this severe I weighed 182 in July 2006, by November 2006 I weighed 256 pounds. Dear God help me. This is too big for me to bare.

I had just reached my dream weight of the mid 170's in July of 2011, and now I see that number in my rear view mirror getting smaller and smaller as I eat myself farther & farther away.

I'm spending a lot of time in prayer, any additional prayers would be greatly appreciated.

memoirs of a binge eating triathlete

Monday, March 19, 2012


Last night I fell of the wagon. My destructive overeating has continued all day today. I had 460 days of abstinence, and now I have to start over. I keep trying to stop binge eating by sheer force of will. No matter how hard I try I cant get back to sane eating, and I keep eating, and eating, and eating.... Finally my wife sat me down for a heart to heart. She took my hands into hers and she prayed to help me give my struggles over to God. Then she reminded me to not worry about how many days of abstinence I lost and reminded me to just worry about today. Not to worry about tomorrow, just today. Then she told me to stop beating myself up. To be gentle with myself. And that's when I started to heal again and trust in my Lord Jesus Christ.

In the morning I'll be starting from day 1 again, and I couldn't be happier.

Thank God for my wife and Gods grace.