Today's the 4th day in a row working out and 3rd day without binge eating. I haven't been on a row like this in months!
I recently watched a movie called "everything must go" with Will Ferrel. It's a movie about an alcoholic who fell off the wagon and lost everything. It was a bad movie, but there was a part in the movie that will change my life forever. Will Ferrel is talking to another alcoholic who was sober. The other alcoholic told Will Ferrel that the reason he's been able to maintain his sobriety is because he does the work, goes to meetings. Up until I saw that movie I was confused about why I fell off the wagon. I try so hard to not binge eat, to the point where I'm obsessed thinking about it. I have a tremendous knowledge of nutrition and try so hard to aply it. I have a ton of knowledge about triathlon and am usually able to workout consistently. And most importantly I've been praying nonstop for abstinence from destructive overeating. I knew God would help me if I asked, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't able to put it all together and why God wasn't stepping in and helping me. Now I know, I haven't been doing the work. When I'd struggle I'd go to meetings, meet with sponsors, and work the 12 step when I started to struggle, but once I was on a roll I'd stop. I treated the program like chemotherapy. Once the cancer (binge eating) went away I'd stop treatment. God will help me if I'm willing to help myself, but He wont do it without me doing my part. I'm going to a meeting in the morning, I've scheduled an apt with my sponsor and will start meeting with him once a week, I'm calling other OA members twice a day, and I'm working the 12 steps again. Now that I'm doing the work I should be able to be successful in my recovery.
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