looking for a new motivation

For me working out and eating are intimately connected. When I'm training regularly it's easier for me to avoid binge eating. When I don't workout regularly I am usually binge eating. Since 2004 I've kept myself motivated and my eating somewhat under control with triathlon. A couple years ago I got ran over by a vehicle while cycling and since then I've been too afraid to bike and I've been gaining weight so quickly it's frightening. I'm currently 275 pounds, 100 pounds heavier than when I got ran over while cycling. Because of the weight gain I'm starting to have problems breathing when I sleep. My step dad had sleep apnea, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the beginning stages of what I saw him go through. I'm only 37 years old. Sleep apnea killed him in 2006. Scary huh.

I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to give up on my dreams of getting back into triathlon. I'm too heavy to run without destroying my body, I get too freaked out when I bike on the road, and I'd certainly crush my carbon fiber bike if I tried to ride it on the indoor trainer. I need to find something else to fill the void of triathlon. I definitely can't workout at a gym or run on a treadmill. I need to TRAIN! The difference between working out and training is when someone trains they are preparing for a competition. I love to compete. Competition fuels me and makes me motivated like nothing else can. The only other sport I can think of that I could get into that has competitions and doesn't involve riding a bike is Olympic weight lifting. Olympic weight lifting would be great for me because there are weight divisions and to be competitive I'd need to get into the lowest weight division possible.

I contacted the local Olympic weight lifting coach here in Santa Fe. There is a chance he wont call back or wont let me train with him. He rents a space from a local CrossFit gym that I used to workout at. I ended up canceling my membership with the CrossFit gym, and I'm afraid the Olympic weight lifting coach wont want me to train with him for fear of causing hurt feelings with the owner of the CrossFit gym. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the owner of the CrossFit gym will be ok with me switching over to the other business under his roof.

In the last 2 years I haven't gone more than a day or two without binge eating. I still haven't got another 12 step sponsor, gone to any OA meetings, made outreach phone calls, or found a sport to be dedicated to, and until I do I will continue to struggle with my eating.