slow & steady

I was reading a blog written by a fellow Clydesdale. He swore by a computer program called dietpower.com. I decided to try it & I'm amazed by the results I'm getting. The program keeps track of my metabolic rate, calories in, calories earned by exercise- which any calories I burn I can eat, fluid intake and fluid amount needed, amount & percentage of calories fat carb & protein, & all the macro nutrients. I've been consistently losing 2 pounds a week since I got on Dietpower.

One of the ways I'm trying to combat my binge eating while dieting this time is having 1 or 2 cheat days so I can still get the physical cravings & emotional comfort from my food that I usually need. I'll let you know if my new plan & program works. I'm very excited. I feel like this is the first time in a very long time that there is hope for me to be at a normal weight. & all of you triathletes and duathletes out there know how important it is in endurance athletics to keep our weight down.

Tomorrow I start my taper for the Polar Bear triathlon. I'm definitely overweight for this race, but I've been consistent & dedicated in my training. We'll see if all that training can help negate some of my weight gain.

the over eating has subsided

Great news, after almost 2 months of manic over eating it's finally mellowed. I'm not sure what caused the binge eating. Usually it takes some kind of stress in my life. Nothing I know of was really stressing my out.

Regardless, the overeating has subsided. Couldn't come at a better time. I have my next race in a few weeks. It's a great race in New Mexico called the Polar Bear triathlon. For an off season, reverse triathlon a lot of really tough competition shows to this race. Should be fun!

My training has been doing great!!! I've been consistent with my running & cycling, I'm making great speed gains in spite of the weight gain. My swimming is getting gradually better. I need to be more consistent getting to the pool though.

All in all I'm very happy & everything seems to mellowing out & coming together.

will there be an end to this anytime soon?

Well, the last 3 weeks has been disastrous. I've binge ate all but 3 days in the last 3 weeks. I've put on another 6 pounds. I'm watching the 35 pounds I lost mid triathlon season jump back on me with a vengeance. Usually there has to be some kind of major stress in my life to cause overeating like this. There's no stress like that in my life right now-other than my overeating & weight gain. My family is happy & we are all content. My wife is worried about me downing food like this, but we are all happy.

My triathlon training is doing great (other than the obvious negatives of my weight gain), I'm not missing any bikes or runs & my swimming is maintaining at average.

The 4 days I didn't overeat in the last 3 weeks was after my first Over eater Anonymous meeting. I got a lot of motivation & encouragement from that meeting. I've only talked to a couple of people about my compulsive eating before, so being around others who have the same issues with food as I do made me feel a bit more normal. Someone spoke at the meeting who hadn't binged for 19 years. That was encouraging. I never really believed I could eat like a normal person before. I'm not right now, not unless you consider one person eating enough calories to make 3 people gain weight. But hearing them say "with the right tools & support it is possible" felt GREAT to hear.

I realize this overeating and weight gain has essentially driven away all my hopes of going sub 5.5 hours in a half Iron in 2010, which was my 2010 goal. I was so very close. I finished one this year in 5hrs 30 minutes. Now that I'm packing the weight on again I'm changing my goal for 2010 to being a sprint distance triathlete. The extra weight doesn't effect a sprint distance athlete nearly as much. The longer the race, the more extra fat slows an athlete.

So, I guess I'm going to start going to more OA (over eaters anonymous) meetings. Perhaps with the support & knowledge they are able to give me I can start trying to control my eating rather than my eating controlling me.

Thank for tuning in. Feel free to comment or leave questions if you have any.

in the beginning

I orriginnaly added this post on Oct 13 but have had some technical difficulties:)

I've created this blog to write about my love for triathlon while dealing with a- you guessed it, an eating disorder. There's a lot of different types of eating disorders out there. My particular problem is binge eating.

Binge eating in it's self is a painful issue to deal with, but then you add into the equation my love for endurance athletics, then it's a particularly heart breaking issue to deal with. In triathlon, just like all endurance athletics, weight is important. The lighter a person is, the faster & farther they can swim, bike, & run.

I've been wanting to start this blog for a long time but have failed to build up the courage. I'm not going to post a lot today. Mostly I just wanted to get started. I knew once I took this first step I'd blog consistently & honestly. Triathlon & those who compete in it is a small & close knit family. I'm sure many people will read this & figure out exactly who I am. That's fine. I don't hide from my issues. I'm usually pretty honest & open with my binge eating. Those who figure out who I am are more than welcome to contact me to talk about my food issues. The only thing I ask is that you not tell others who the author of this blog is.

In this blog I'm going to be completely honest & straight foreword about my over eating. It's not going to be pretty. Many will be repulsed. Many will look at my food issues & think I'm weak. That's ok, each & every person is welcome to their opinions. I will still write in this blog openly- anonymously, but openly about binge eating, it's affects on me, others, & how it affects me in the sport I love so very much.

What brought on this courage to start a blog in which I write freely about my deepest darkest demon? Late 2008 I weighed 188 pounds & was kicking butt & taking names at every triathlon I competed in. Earlier this year I showed up & competed in a triathlon weighing in at 236 ponds. I'm only 5'11". At the awards ceremony of this triathlon another triathlete started teasing me about my weight gain in front of every one. Sounds like I'm crying right? Nope, actually he pissed me off & motivated me. I started dieting.....again. I hit 200....again, then pow! I'm now in the middle of another binge. This one has lasted a little over 3 weeks. I'm now back up 215 pounds. I'm hoping my binge eating will stop soon. Sometimes my binges last a few days, they have lasted as long as half a year. In a one year period I've gone from 292 pounds to 204 pounds, back up to 269, then back down to 227. It's a heck of an emotional ride for me & everyone who knows me.

So tune in here to see how my journey goes. Feel free to post comments &/or question if you'd like.