memoirs of a binge eating triathlete: loss of control

Thursday, March 22, 2012

loss of control

I'm 3 days into a massive binge and no signs of being being able to stop. Yesterday I blew $49 for lunch & hit multiple drive thru's. A man can get a ton of burgers, chili cheese fries, and coney dogs for $49. I now know Satan is real, he is now selling sweet potato tater tots at Sonic.

The last time I was is the grips of a binge this severe I weighed 182 in July 2006, by November 2006 I weighed 256 pounds. Dear God help me. This is too big for me to bare.

I had just reached my dream weight of the mid 170's in July of 2011, and now I see that number in my rear view mirror getting smaller and smaller as I eat myself farther & farther away.

I'm spending a lot of time in prayer, any additional prayers would be greatly appreciated.

sincerely,
memoirs of a binge eating triathlete

2 comments:

AnonymousMarch 22, 2012 at 7:06 AM
im sending prayers and so know how awful this feels. this disease kills--get to an oa meeting asap! hang in there.you are not alone,xx
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AnonymousApril 19, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Accepting that you have an eating disorder can greatly help. Followed by getting help of a professional who can guide you in creating a healthier plan. Share your problem with family or a trusted friend, keeping a secret can greatly affect your success in overcoming this illness. We all need support from our environment. Goodluck!
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events completed

85 MULTISPORT races:
65 triathlons
20 duathlons
2 Ironman triathlons
7 70.3's8 olympic distance triathlons
47 sprint disance tri's
1 off road triathlon

8 RUNNING RACES:
2 marathons 2 half marathons
2 10K
2 5k's

4 CYLING EVENTS:
3 centuries1 road race

2 FULL CONTACT SPORTING EVENTS:
2 Jiu Jitsutournaments (5 divisions entered)

1 REEBOK CROSSFIT GAMES

2004
Sept Texas Tech Rec Triathlon Lubbock TX
Dec Polar Bear triathlon WSMR NM
(2 Multi-sport races; 2 sprints)

2005
Feb- 7th annual Arizona grappling challenge Tempe AZ
May- Buffman and Squeaky triathlon Lubbock TX
June- Las Vegas olympic Triathlon Las Vegas NM
Sept- The New Mexico marathon Alb NM
Sept Enchanted Circle century Red River NM
Oct Soma 70.3 Tempe AZ
Dec Polar Bear triathlon WSMR NM
(4 mult-sport events: 1 sprint, 2 oly, 1 half, 1 grappling tournament, 1 cycling event, 1 running event)

2006
Feb The Lost Dutchman marathon Apache Junction AZ
Feb John Stermer Duathlon WSMR NM
March Stealth duathlon Holloman AFB, NM
April MVTC Triathlon Las Cruces NM
April Atomic Man: Fat Man White Rock NM
May Defined fitness Duathlon Rio Ranch NM
May Ransom Canyon triathlon Lubbock NM
May Jay Banson triathlon Alb NM
May Buffman and Squeaky Triathlon Lubbock NM
June Tumbleweed triathlon Odessa TX
June Buffalo Springs Lake 70.3 Lubbock TX
July Las Vegas Olympic triathlon Las Vegas NM
Aug Chile Harvest triathlon Soccoro NM
Aug Los Alamos Triathlon Las Alamos NM
Oct Stealth duthlon Holloman AFB, NM
Nov 70.3 World Championships Clearwater FA
Dec Polar Bear Triathlon WSMR NMDec Tucson half Marathon Tucson AZ
(16 multi-sport events: 7 sprint, 2 oly, 2 half, 5 duathlons, 1 running event)

2007 Jan Tammy Redman 5K Rio Rancho NM
Jan Tammy Redman 10K Rio Rancho NM
March John Stermer Duathlon WSMR NM
March Stealth Duathlon Holloman AFB, NM
March Sully's Super sprint triathlon Alpine TX
April MVTC Triathlon Las Cruces NM
April Atomic Man: Little Boy White Rock NM
May Ransom Canyon triathlon Lubbock TX
May Buffman and Squeaky triathlon Lubbock TX
June Gallup triathlon Gallup NM
July Bottomless Lakes Triathlon Roswell NM
Aug Pueblo of Tesuque 5K Tesuqu NM
Aug Los Alamos triathlon Las Alamos NM
Sept NM half marathon Alb NM
Sept Enchanted circle century Red River NM
Sept Harvest Moon Long Course duathlon Auror Reservoir CO
Dec Polar bear triathlon WSMR NM
(12 multi-sport events, 7 sprint, 1 oly, 1 half, 3 duathlons, 4 running events, 1 cycling event)

2008 March Stealth Duathlon Holloman AFB, NM
April Atomic Man Duathlon: little boy White Rock NM
May Jay Benson triathlon Alb NM
May Buffman and Squeaky Olympic Lubbock TXAug 5430 Long course triathlon Boulder CO
Aug Los Alamos triathlon Las Alamos NMSept Enchanted Circle Century Red River NM
Nov Ironman Arizona Tempe AZ
Dec Polar Bear triathlon WSMR NMDec Jingle Bell triathlon WSMR NM
(9 multi-sport events, 4 sprint, 1 oly, 1 half, 2 duathlons, 1 full, 1 cycling event)

2009 March Raptor duathlon Holloman AFB, NM
April Wind triathlon WSMR NM
April Collegiate national championships triathlon Lubbock NM
April Atomicman duathlon: little boy White Rock NM
May Jay Benson triathlon Alb NM
June Milkman triathlon Dexter NM
June Gallup triathlon Gallup NM
July Santa Fe triathlon Santa Fe NM
Aug Chili Harvest triathlon Soccoro NM
Sept Redman half iron OKC OK
Dec Polar Bear Triathlon WSMR NM
Dec Jingle Bell Triathlon WSMR NM
(12 multi-sport events, 9 sprint, 1 half, 2 duathlons,)

2010
Feb Presadents Day duathlon WSMR NM
March Sully Super Sprint triathlon Apline TX
April Wind triathlon WSMR NM
April Spring Fling Triathlon Rio Rancho NM
April Atomic Man duathlon White Rock NM
May Jay Benson triathlon Alb NM
May Dog House Sprint triathlon Lubbock TX
June The Gallup triathlon Gallup NM
June Chick-fil-a triathlon Amarillo TX
July The Santa Fe triathlon Santa Fe NM
Oct SW grappling championships Rio Rancho NM
(10 multi-sport events, 8 sprint triathlons, 2 duathlons, 1 grappling tournament)

2011
Feb Presidents day duathlon WSMR NM
March Sully Super Sprint triathlon Alpine TX
April MVT triathlon Las Vegas NM
April Holloman duathlon Holloman AFB, NM
April Spring Fling triathlon Rio Rancho NM
April Atomic Man duathlon: little boy White Rock NM
May Jay Benson triathlon Alb NM
May The Dog House Sprint triathlon Lubbock TX
May Santa Fe Run Around 10K Santa FE NM
June Storrie Lake triathlon Las Vegas NM
Aug Oak Flats Road Race Tijeras NM
Sept Elephant Man long course (half Iron) Elephant Butte NM
Nov Ironman Arizona
Dec The Nutcracker triathlon WSMR NM
(11 multi-sport events, 5 sprint triathlons, 1 oly, 1 half, 1 Iron, 3 duathlons, 1 cycling even, 1 running event)

2012
April Mesa Valley trithlon Las Vegas NM
April Spring Fling Triathlon Rio Rancho NM.
April Atomic Man duathlon White Rock NM.
May The Dog House triathlon Lubbock TX.
Sept The Patriot triathlon Rio Rancho NM
Sept The Elephant Man triathlon Elephant Butte NM
Oct The Warrior off Road triathlon Albuquerque NM
(7 multi-sport events, 1 Olympic distance triathlon, 4 sprint triathlons, 1 duathlon, 1 off road triathlon)

2013
Feb Missile Man duathlon White Sands Missile Range NM
March-April Reebok CrossFit gamesApril Atomic Man duathlon
Sept The Santa Fe triathlon

memoirs of a binge eating triathlete

Thursday, March 22, 2012

loss of control

2 comments:

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