cycling towards recovery

Today our church had communion. As we were leaving I saw there was a lot of flat bread left that hadn't been given out to the church body. I was obsessing about the bread. I kept thinking of how it was probably going to be thrown away, wasted. I was dreaming about all the options there were if I was able to have the flat bread (eat it eat it eat it!). I could put in in queso, if it was stale I could dip it in salsa like chips, I could pop em while driving like little fun bite sized pieces of stress relief, ..... There's no doubt in my mind I'm a food addict. Who else would obsess about old used bread that's been broken to pieces.

I'm usually so busy on Sunday mornings getting our kids ready for church that I can't attend OA meetings. Today I went to my 1st Sunday morning meeting. I was amazed & awed by the meeting this morning. I read out of an OA book, page 128. It said something about a person driving & eating & they crashed their car. I used to struggle with my eating when driving to & from work. I couldn't refrain from stopping for food even though I left the house having just ate & I always brought enough food for work. So 5 years ago I started riding my bicycle to & from work. No matter what the weather is I ride my bike. Last week I rode to work in the middle of a snow storm that had dropped a foot of snow. 2 days ago the wind chill was negative 6 degrees. Any uncomfort or problems from the weather is nothing compared to the pain of being in the midst of a binge. I realized driving to & from work was a problem so I found an alternative. Up until now I never told anyone why I comute on a bike. I felt if I told anyone I commute on my bike to avoid binge eating regardless of how extreme or crazy the weather is it would make me sound like some kind of crazy nut job. Now that I'm going to OA meetings I realize I'm not crazy, it was one of the 1st times in my life I was admitting I was powerless over food & commuting to work is a tool I'm using to bring myself & my eating back to a state of sanity.

Thanks for tuning in & thank you for helping my in my recovery from a life of binge eating....