in the beginning

I orriginnaly added this post on Oct 13 but have had some technical difficulties:)

I've created this blog to write about my love for triathlon while dealing with a- you guessed it, an eating disorder. There's a lot of different types of eating disorders out there. My particular problem is binge eating.

Binge eating in it's self is a painful issue to deal with, but then you add into the equation my love for endurance athletics, then it's a particularly heart breaking issue to deal with. In triathlon, just like all endurance athletics, weight is important. The lighter a person is, the faster & farther they can swim, bike, & run.

I've been wanting to start this blog for a long time but have failed to build up the courage. I'm not going to post a lot today. Mostly I just wanted to get started. I knew once I took this first step I'd blog consistently & honestly. Triathlon & those who compete in it is a small & close knit family. I'm sure many people will read this & figure out exactly who I am. That's fine. I don't hide from my issues. I'm usually pretty honest & open with my binge eating. Those who figure out who I am are more than welcome to contact me to talk about my food issues. The only thing I ask is that you not tell others who the author of this blog is.

In this blog I'm going to be completely honest & straight foreword about my over eating. It's not going to be pretty. Many will be repulsed. Many will look at my food issues & think I'm weak. That's ok, each & every person is welcome to their opinions. I will still write in this blog openly- anonymously, but openly about binge eating, it's affects on me, others, & how it affects me in the sport I love so very much.

What brought on this courage to start a blog in which I write freely about my deepest darkest demon? Late 2008 I weighed 188 pounds & was kicking butt & taking names at every triathlon I competed in. Earlier this year I showed up & competed in a triathlon weighing in at 236 ponds. I'm only 5'11". At the awards ceremony of this triathlon another triathlete started teasing me about my weight gain in front of every one. Sounds like I'm crying right? Nope, actually he pissed me off & motivated me. I started dieting.....again. I hit 200....again, then pow! I'm now in the middle of another binge. This one has lasted a little over 3 weeks. I'm now back up 215 pounds. I'm hoping my binge eating will stop soon. Sometimes my binges last a few days, they have lasted as long as half a year. In a one year period I've gone from 292 pounds to 204 pounds, back up to 269, then back down to 227. It's a heck of an emotional ride for me & everyone who knows me.

So tune in here to see how my journey goes. Feel free to post comments &/or question if you'd like.